Shackles of the mind
I’ve noticed lately that there is thinking you know something, which stems from the mind, the ego, and then there’s feeling like you know. A knowing, which comes from what I call a connected consciousness kind of place… something greater than what we think we know. I often struggle to make a distinction between the two. Often they blend as one, unbeknownst to me that they come from different places with different outcomes. The mind wants to know everything there is to know about everything. Asking all the questions, wanting control, order and answers NOW – the whys & hows & whens- wanting to know what’s coming next, wanting to have a plan laid out, wanting to know what shape my future job will take, how I will manifest my talents & how to present them etc.
Then there’s trusting, knowing all is well, regardless of a plan. This is soul. This is leaning into inner guidance. We were born conscious beings, but it’s just that the mind is so loud that we only listen to the mental monologue~ all its whims & preferences and wants and needs. All its distractions keeping us from our true Self. All its emotions, rocking us, unhinging us, making us act a certain way. The mind gets angry, upset, frustrated, sad. The soul just is, regardless of what happens. It observes, it doesn’t judge. It’s the mind that gives it meaning through its (our) perception.
I’m noticing I can train my mind though, to see past its boundaries that keep me blind, but it takes courage. It takes responsibility, authenticity, intuition, and connection to that Soul-part of ourselves. It takes discipline, commitment (on a daily basis). It takes willpower, the want to overcome, to see beyond what gets presented to us in every moment. It takes awareness.
A soul-led life looks like this: things that need doing are effortless, flowing; chance encounters with like-minded people highlight my day throughout; peace of mind rules, I’m undisturbed, not bothered or sweating the small stuff. I can redirect obstacles in a positive way. I seem to know what I’m doing without thinking about it. Things just happen, naturally. That’s what I want for myself. It’s hit & miss at the moment.
From a young age I’ve been wanting to understand how this mind of mine works, it fascinates me how each one of us experiences the world in a different way. I’ve always been thirsty for answers but all the (self-help) books I’ve read, the youtube videos watched, none of them got me any closer to finding a connection (to Soul). They’re all food, fuel for my mind to get distracted. I learnt lots, understood lots, had many AHA-moments, but nothing lasting, so did I really learn anything? What my mind doesn’t like is putting knowledge into practice. Or to practice on a daily basis.
For years I feel like I was caged by my mind thinking I was depressed, or had AD(H)D, was hormonally imbalanced, but as soon as I practice, all the symptoms of the earlier mentioned go away. Now more than ever I practice a form of meditation called bio-energy shaking. More on that in another blog. But with practice I’m undoing myself from all these shackles & I’m becoming, more & more each day.
Solstice, 2023