Proud

23/4/22

Last night I officially finished all artwork (to turn into art prints) & sent everything off to print for the upcoming craft fair I’m attending… With a week to spare (no small feat for me)!!

I felt so relieved, and proud, and fulfilled too.

Unfortunately, as with any project of mine, I lost sight of my own boundaries and pushed it too much: working til late at night, which then has a knock on effect of getting me wired and finding it hard to switch off & go to sleep. So often I end up getting up and working some more…only to wake up tired (and grumpy). This then makes it hard to focus on daily life and I end up putting everything on a back burner. On & on this rhythm goes until the work is done (or in this case, until our trip to St. Ives forced me away from my desk~perfect timing).
I get really engrossed when I’m passionate about something, not being able to switch off easily. But that aside, the bit I’m proud of is the fact that I did a thing!

Something on my own, for myself & in the pursuit of my dream. 
Something as Nina, not “mummy” or “wife of”.
No, just me, solo.

This morning I woke up feeling content… Savouring the small things…the smell & the feeling of fresh air when I open the back door, the birds greeting the day, the way my daughter asks me for something mundaine, my other daughter’s sense of humour,…  

A wave of appreciation & gratitude hit me. I haven’t felt like that in a long time.

Later on I receive something in the post, a rather large envelope from one of my really close friends. She sent me a paper-cut bouquet and with it a card saying how proud she is of me for (finally!) following my creativity. I was in tears (of joy). She could not have timed it any better. (And she didn’t even know about the upcoming craft fair/finalized artwork!!)

Happy days.
More waves of gratitude.

I do sometimes wonder what the point is of designing anything. I’m not making big changes, I’m not in the streets asking for change, nor standing with others to fight what I believe in. But I’ve found a way to express myself. It’s all I know how to. And it brings me a certain fulfillment. And the latter, to me, means a lot. So I have to follow that. Just because it feels right to do so. Even if it means nothing to anybody else.

Checking out! Until next time

xx Nina